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I’m on holiday (you may already know this). We packed one large backpack with our Everything Necessary, and I diligently chose an ensemble of garments for mixing, matching, going out, staying in.

I would LOVE to be one of these people that can artfully arrange a few choice garments and look Cool. Or chuck on a crumpled t-shirt and some lippy and look Hot. But I am not blessed with this skill.

I was deliberating this while at breakfast yesterday morning, as I was observing fellow female guests entering the dining hall looking immaculate, sleek and glossy, and managed to drop some scrambled egg down my cleavage (I don’t think anyone noticed, even as I was surreptitiously scooping it out).

Afterwards, as I was sitting on the beach, feeling all sunny and frisky, I thought I’d take a sexy pic of my slightly tanned, sandy feet resplendent with geranium coloured nail varnish.

Then much later, as I was reviewing said pic, I realised with a sigh, that I had been sporting the band-aid from cutting myself shaving (using a safety razor).

Anyway, the story here is that I had formerly cut myself shaving and spent a while wearing an artfully arranged piece of tissue paper on my leg. I had got dressed in jeans and we had headed for the airport to catch our next flight to the island of Terceira.

I’d noticed in the airport a weird mark on the lower leg of my jeans but didn’t pay too much attention (thought I’d rubbed against something grubby, which would be reasonably normal); only later as I undressed did I realise that the tiny nick from shaving had continued to bleed and had produced what at first resembled a huge congealed worm stuck to my leg. In fact, for a split second, I actually thought it really was a huge congealed worm and gave a tiny scream.

Anyway. Hence the application of the band-aid for fear of any more wardrobe mishaps.

Another thing which is a problem in trying to look Cool or Hot is when ones hair decides it will change its molecular structure and become that of a grass skirt. I deliberately didn’t bring straighteners but come on – since when did my hair behave this badly? I’m not sure who is most shocked by it – me or the general public.

Anyway, the main thing is that I’m enjoying myself. And not wearing make-up, dossing about in shorts and having wet, unruly hair from swimming every day is not painful at all. In fact, I’ve decided now, that’s just how I like it, and that’s cool. And it’s also very hot 🙂